No need to travel afar-it’s all right here

MEMBER COLUMN

by Jon Michaels

LW contributor

I’m sorry but I’m just not into traveling anymore. Just give me my car, and I’ll go up to 45 miles any which way.

There’s Santa Monica, Venice, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, Pasadena, San Dimas, the South Bay, and down to San Clemente, Dana Point, Laguna, Disneyland in Anaheim and everything in between. How freakin’ lucky are we?

And what’s the deal with cruises anyway?

“Hey, I’m seasick, and there’s endless food!” I’m not sure that’s the best combination.

If I need to be on a ship, I’d rather have a leisurely, spectacular dinner on the Queen Mary in Long Beach.

And I won’t need a paper sickness bag.

Besides, plane travel is annoying and uncomfortable. Just as an aside, and I’m not making this up, the last time I flew on a plane, my seat was in the very first row, and I was so excited because I was going to be the first one to get off.

But after we landed the flight attendant grabbed the microphone and actually said, “I'm sorry, the front door seems to be malfunctioning, so we’ll all be deplaning out of the rear door.” I can’t win for losing!

What’s more, who’d want to be stuck on a plane for 15 hours to go to Bavaria anyway?

I’d much rather drive to Old World Village in Huntington Beach and be back in half an hour.

And have you been to Tahiti lately? Bora Bora BORING!! Instead, just roll over to The Bamboo Club Tiki Bar on Anaheim Street, and it’s awesome!

Or, if it’s scuba diving you want, forget the Caribbean and simply take a boat to Catalina Island.

Do it at night and watch the flying fish escort you along the way. It’s an amazing spectacle.

Does Tuscany interest you? What about driving to Temecula and taking a hot air balloon right over the vineyards?

Or, if riding in a gondola in Venice, Italy, is on your bucket list, have you heard of Naples Island? You could walk there!

Wanna travel to Brazil, or Argentina?

We have dozens of great eateries from these countries in the area. And I know this because whenever they play each other in soccer, the 11 o’clock news shows the brawls that inevitably ensue. I once read that almost 40 different countries have their largest cultural enclaves outside of their borders, right here in SoCal—Filipinotown, Little Saigon, K-town, Little Ethiopia, Thai Town, Little Armenia, Tehrangeles, etc.

It's like we live in our own giant Epcot Center. And the admission is free!

I do admit though that I am considering traveling to Disney’s California Adventure because I’ve always wanted to visit California, and I hear the simulation at California Adventure is so uncanny...you feel like you’re actually in California!

Gotta hand it to those Disney people. Wait, I’m a little confused. Finally, last year I was offered a chance to go to the NCAA finals in San Antonio, but I said to my woman, “Let’s just go to the Crypto downtown and see the Lakers,” which we did the next evening.

And I remember someone passing the ball to Lebron, and before he dribbled it, he took an extra step.

It was a dumb turnover. And I almost rushed out onto the court and screamed, “How many times have I told you, Lebron, I don’t like traveling!”