In praise of heroic grandparenting

MEMBER COLUMN

by Jim Greer

LW contributor

Months before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, my wife and I carefully planned a cross-county trip to visit our far-flung family. By late February 2020, airline flights and car rentals had to be canceled, along with hotel reservations. Our pilgrimage to visit our 15 grandchildren—including two who were to be born in the spring of 2020—was indefinitely postponed. By late 2021, we rescheduled our adventure, this time as a month-long road trip with stops in dozens of states along the way. The new car we ordered during the fall of 2021 microprocessor shortage was finally delivered on Feb. 1. We were set to hit the open road. I’m sure there are thousands of grandparents like us who would give anything to visit their grandchildren regularly. In the April 13, edition of the New York Times, there appeared an article identifying truly heroic grandparents who are with their grandkids every day. In her heartfelt tribute, Paula Span revealed that during the pandemic some 200,000 children lost one or both parents to the virus. Out of a sense of duty, loving grandparents valiantly and heroically stepped up to become guardians of their own grandchildren.

As the first line of defense after tragedy, the nonprofit Generations United reports that before the pandemic, some 2.6 million American children lived in “grandfamilies.”

For reasons ranging from military deployment and incarceration to death from substance abuse, other illnesses or accidents, grandparents have always provided support with childcare, transportation and financial help. These unsung heroes, who have willingly postponed or canceled retirement, have done so to ensure that their progeny is raised in a loving family.

In her June 23, 2013, article titled “In Praise of Grandparents,” Magnolia Ripkin stated, “The most perfect of all possible human relationships is that of grandparent and grandchild. They love each other for merely existing. They accept each other completely in a state of grace that says, ‘You are perfect in all ways, and I will indulge your every whim.’ They wallow in the sunshine of approval and acceptance with no rules to follow and lots of candy to eat. Really, the symbiosis is perfect in every way if the grandparents are good and part of the children’s lives.”

As just one of dozens of grandchildren, the only relationship I had with grandparents was with my father’s mother. There were the annual birthday cards including a dollar or two, but I saw her in person only a few times before she passed in my early teens. To this day I still yearn to feel that grandparent connection, that feeling of pride and bond that no other relationship can engender.

Good grandparents absorb any expense, sacrifice any available time, and travel any distance just to maintain that connection. Compared to those who have become the guardians of their own grandchildren, our challenges and sacrifices are minuscule. Let’s honor those heroes who sacrifice so much for their grandchildren by spending the rest of our senior years of leisure as devoted grandparents!