Roadside Riverdancing: Only in Leisure World

MEMBER COLUMN

by Jon Michaels

LW contributor

I was driving down Del Monte toward the Golden Rain Road Main Gate to exit the community. Up ahead I see a couple of elderly people, a guy and a gal, unloading and rearranging the back of a station wagon parked on the right side of the road.

They were so focused on their car, and the lady was standing by the car’s left side. It looked like a dicey situation to drive by. So, I slowed down from 25 to 15 and then, to zero.

Well, it’s a good thing I stopped because a moment later, the woman took three steps to the left to cross the street—without looking at all!

She’d obviously forgotten she was standing on a road. Where there are cars, and bicycles, and scooters, and squirrels....

After her third step, she finally turned her head toward me and noticed me sitting in my car, motionless.

Not to exaggerate, but my anticipation might have saved her life.

To be honest, even I sometimes forget if I’m standing outside or inside because the weather here is so temperate, the roads are so smooth, the patios often have indoor/outdoor carpeting, it can be a little confusing.

Nonetheless, I thought she would run up to me and give me a big kiss!

But no—my expectations of the goodness of humanity were once again summarily dashed. Because what’d the woman say to show her gratitude?

I am not making this up. She shouted, “Slow down!” Excuse me? My car wasn’t even moving. But that’s not all. Again, this is completely true, she actually started dancing a jig in front of my idling car.

Her hands were clasped in front of her, and her legs were alternately kicking to the left and the right. And she blurted out two more times, “Slow down! Slow down!”

What is this, “Riverdance?” Let’s face it: the woman’s unhinged.

But we all know that there are plenty of elderly people living here, and kooky behavior isn’t all that rare.

Still, I felt compelled to respond with some sort of comment. So, as I slowly rolled by, I snickered, “You might wanna consider electric shock therapy.”

Was that a little harsh? I’m sorry but she should’ve offered to put me in her will!

So, remember everyone: the three rules of living in Leisure World are as follows: 1) Drive slower than the speed limit.

2) If you’re walking, remember to look both ways before crossing the street, and...

3) above all, learn how to dance the jig!